IV. Greatest Music Video Ever Made…

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Picture it: The Soviet Union, 1991.

Several constituent republics had declared their independence from the USSR. Boris Yeltsin emerged as a challenger to President Mikhail Gorbachev. Gorbachev was trapped between military hard-liners desperate to crack down on the people and preserve the Union, and those who wanted greater freedom.

Paralyzed, Gorbachev did the only thing he could: he commissioned a Russian “rock band” to perform the Soviet National Anthem to appeal to the younger generation.

I kid you not.This is the greatest music video EVER MADE! It LITERALLY combines the worst of ’80s and early ’90s “group” music videos (think “We Are the World”) with the worst of Soviet propaganda films.

(Notice that much of the video interspersed throughout the song is in black and white … there weren’t many Soviet successes to celebrate in the time of color film!)

Things to watch out for:

• The Singing Soldier
• Mulletts
• Horrid fashion, including the GIGANTIC gold watch (seriously, you won’t believe how big it is!)
• Happy Russian children dancing in golden fields, presumably the same fields where the giant harvesters roamed freely, upping Soviet agricultural output 6,000% a year, every year (until, according to the Central Office of Fake Statistics, the USSR produced 10,000,000% of the world’s agricultural output every year)
• Rockets
• The chick with the really odd voice
• A dog (?)
• 3 guys holding hands
• 5 guys in white suits (I guarantee you the name of their band was “5 Guys in White Suits” — that, or Super Happy Communists of Leningrad or something)
• The guy in the gray suit with the big hair near the end (you’ll know who I mean)
• The “heavy metal” singer (with sunglasses) who really gets into it! Look for him near the end— you can tell he’s thinking, “What the hell am I doing?”
• Always remember: they are singing to the glories of Communism! :)

soviet lyrics

OH, and here is the song as it was traditionally sung:

And, finally, here is the current version (same music, different and rather silly lyrics), Hymn of the Russian Federation:

2 Responses to “IV. Greatest Music Video Ever Made…”

  1. Nikky Says:

    This website is gay! nd so wat the video!!!!! Why would you think its kool to lie to people like that? I mean I expected to watch an awsome movie but I was sooo disappointed when i looked at this site. I mean wow guys!

    Anyways…. Hope you have a good evening/day

  2. Shawn Says:

    Hi there!

    Thanks for stopping by.

    It would be better if you could spell. “And” is spelled with an “A”; “was” with an “s”; and “cool” with a “c”.

    In reference to the video itself: obviously you don’t understand irony. But that’s okay, I’m guessing you’re young.

    I hope you have a good evening/day as well.


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