Brief Summer Movie Reviews

This is the first summer since I was 15 that I have not had to work. It is a strange and rather unsettling experience. I have thus spent much time going to the movie theater, and I have so far seen more movies in the theater in the last two months than I have in the last three years.

Here are my brief reviews (listed in no particular order):

1. WALL•E: Phenomenal.

2. The Dark Knight: Dark, intense, violent, outstanding in almost every respect.

3. Iron Man: Lots of fun.

4. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Fun, but with a franchise-ruining ending, thanks to that a**hole George Lucas who can’t seem to touch anything these days without it turning into pure s***. I mean, seriously, WTF? Why does anyone listen to this jackass anymore? Isn’t there some sort of Hollywood agency that can force him to retire? Shouldn’t someone prevent this moron from stomping through my god-damned childhood memories and ruining them like some sort of real-life Freddy Kruger? Have you watched “Attack of the Clones” recently? Yeah, it was 100 times better than the first abortion, “The Phantom Menace,” but 100 times Zero is still ZERO. And I’m still pissed off about the whole “midichlorians” thing. George Lucas is so bad that he turned both Ewan MacGregor and Natalie Portman into terrible actors by his atrocious writing and abominable directing (only Samuel L. Jackson and Ian McDiarmid somehow managed to do all right; Hayden Christensen never had a chance). So thanks a lot, George, for turning your attention to Indiana Jones — a franchise that ended on a high note and should have been left alone, at least until you dropped dead and Spielberg could do it himself, which he should have. And by the way, what do you have on him, George? You must have blackmailed him into accepting your quote-unquote “story” for Crystal Skull. Tax evasion? Murder? What? Let him go, man, let him go, because you cause more destruction than President Bush.

5. Wanted: Very interesting film which defies easy characterization.

6. Journey to the Center of the Earth: Surprisingly, not all that bad, but better in 3D I’m sure (which I didn’t see; call ahead to find out if the theater you’re planning on has the 3D version, otherwise don’t bother).

7. Get Smart: Stupid, with only one or two good gags.

I hope this is helpful. If any of you happen to see any of these films, I would love to hear your own reviews! You can either comment or email me and I will add them to these posts. I would also be interested in any other films that are worth watching.

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3 Responses to “Brief Summer Movie Reviews”

  1. lolarusa Says:

    You’re right that Journey to the Center of the Earth wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected. Just a dopey, fun kids’ movie. I had the good luck to see it in 3D, and it was very fun to wear the silly glasses and gasp with the rest of the audience as stuff came at us out of the screen.

  2. Shawn Says:

    Yeah, I might see it again if I can find a 3D theater. Definitely dumb kid fun!

  3. b Says:

    yeah, agree with you on “get smart.” WANTED to see WANTED.


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